What? Are praises bad for my child? How on Earth can I believe in this statement? Yes, the statement is likely to take you by surprise, but it is a staunch reality. As a parent, if you keep praising your child continuously, you are injuring the development of your child. Of course, your kids do certain things that are worthy of acknowledgment, but that does not mean you need to keep praising them always. That is bad parenting!
Parenting: Understanding The Vagueness Of The Term “Good Job”
Praises like ‘Good job” and “Way to go” are lazy and worthless praises. They are harmful in several ways. They do not have any value for kids, but parents are of the view that they help in building the self-esteem of their child. Parents also think that these are useful things to say.
Praises help in encouraging kids to continue with the positive attitude that brings them positive results. However, there is a bit of a problem with the term “good job.” The term lacks specificity in the first place. It does not tell the kids what they were good at precisely. It offers incomplete information leaving the kids wondering what they need to do to get similar results in the future. Next, the term focuses on the results instead of the procedure.
Parenting: Praising Will Not Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem
Many parents have been misguided into believing that they can build the self-esteem of their child only by telling them how good they are at certain things. Things can take a big turn if parents do not avoid such situations.
Convincing your ward of his or her competence will bring him nothing but failure. This is because different life events will tell him unequivocally how good or bad he is at doing a particular thing through failure and success.
Parenting – Constant Praises Are Not Good For Children
Children do not require continuous praise. Of course, you will have to be there for your child during his or her moment of success, but you can always avoid saying “good job.” Instead, tell him why he was able to complete the task at hand successfully.
It will help your child in replicating the same behavior and attitude shortly to get similar positive results.
Avoid Praising Your Child For Intelligence
Research has proved that the way you praise your kid has a significant impact on his or her development. Kids who are not praised for their effort but for their intelligence move on to become overly focused on getting the best results. Such children might not be able to perform well once they face failures. If you praise your child for his intelligence, it will make him fear difficult phases in life because he starts equating failure with foolishness.
Excessive praises can also serve to be unhealthy for children in their growth years. Such children become more cautious about their responses and are less confident in giving answers. They are not able to share their concepts clearly and might not be able to handle challenging situations in life.